darkness, emptiness

Hueco Mundo

i swam thru my dark side
seeking something i might hide
alight for my darkness
shadow for my loneliness
i couldnt find it
i guess it slipped down with the dawn
i might have to run
to catch the dream i never plan

the dream in the darkness
i cried in the silence
i bring my soul up,
and never looked down
but it never had a differences
cuz al i'll see is emptiness around

a mean of loneliness

Opened the window that covered my sight
the sun stare straightly at my blind spot
seeking for the answer
deep inside
the answer that i seek too
a question for the difference
why the sun is different from the thing around him?
why i feel im different?
why everyone push me away?
why we're alone in our pride?
why cant we find the answer?

i glanced at once to the people around
hear the voice but dont know what it means
dont understand what they're talking about
dont understand why they speak so loud
dont know when i can find a time to live my life

feel the air of my breath
feel the fear of the tree
fear to fall down to the ground
cuz the wind blown in brown
mixed by the mud
covered with the cloud

now the birds were singin through my breath
they flown around my head
suddenly the horn of the car screamed so loud
make me stood still, and wishing
wish there was a tree fell down to the driver
and the driver died
and the car crushed
and i enjoyed my peace, once again

a real place 4 me

in the middle of the english class

in the corner of the goddamn haze,

i stared at the calm blue sky

then i started to feel a lil lighter

but not so long,

before i realized that i'm in the middle of the crowd

and i feel so much all alone

i don't belong here

but i don' need their attention either,

cuz i live outside my brain, 

my life is otthere with my unreal friends

where i cant feel alone at all... 

Last deathwish of a hollow

through the blade that roared with me
through the cherry blossoms that blew inside of me
through the blade that caught me down to sea

i dreamed a better life
i dreamed a holy soul
i live without any hole
passed my days without sorrow
and in my dream
i wasn't a hollow

now let me say my last deathwish
to have a friend to cry me out when im vanish
to have a real sword for my cold blood
before my vein frozen immediately
and petrified beautifully


("Bleach" inspired me..^^)

Purnama

hey, ini crap kid kembali bersuara

kali ini dia pengen cerita

ketika malam tak menyala dan bulan purnama tiba

dengan tatapan hampa dia keluar rumahnya

menatap tajam bulan purnama malam itu

sehampa perasaannya

dia lihat bulan purnama

tak berteman ditinggal sang awan

awan egois yang tak berterimakasih

layaknya sang crap kid ditinggal sang kawan

sang purnama ditinggalkan awan

awan gelap yang meminta terangnya bulan purnama

kawan sesat yang hanya datang di saat tertentu

wheel of life

when u feel like your wheel of life stopped below you
turn on your soul into fire
and start to build your way up again
your wheel of life is just a wheel, it doesnt have feet to climb up
it doesn't have a heart to feel the proud of what it had done
doesn't have eyes to see a worse life outthere
doesn't have hands to reach what it wants
so just let it stop
but don't let your soulstops running
beat the time in a row
beat the crime without sorrow
keep on climbing till u reach your dreams
keep on pushin your wheel to make it move again...

no title again???

set a fire flood before you gel blown
i never do this line for you
i can't make myself care for anything you do
i just do my rhyme for fun
and no matter where i'll run
u'll catch my world so i don't have a place to belong
but i still have my broken brain
and i can steal your friends
u can have my world
but can't held my will
now when your fire flood loaded
me and my friend won't scream so loud.

no tittle again

i woke up in my cold blanket
tried to gather my line
thinking what would happen this time
would it be worse,
or would it be worst
i know there's no hope to get better
people said, "hey, thats the kid who killed my cat"
but i don't even give a damn attention
cuz i really don't wanna care what you wanna say
i don't care if i have the most unluckiest moment in my days
as long as i have the best-est friends in my back to catch my track
when i drowned and cracked

a way close to sleep

i was on my bed and almost closed my eyes
prepared to drop by to the other world
but something goes wrong
i couldnt relax and i dunno why
i've tried to count the goats
but then they were fly
i pointed my eyes to my lamp
counting how many time i said,, "i wanna suicade" in my whole life
how many time i said "this is bullshit" when everybody ignored me

got no chance

Walkin around my new place

Seem like a de javu came closer to me

Something I’ve been passed

Something smelled like

my friends and i gonna ruin everything

Except everything smells hell

Cuz I think like I got no chance

To get better and better

Cuz no one seeing our good side

and No one believe that we can make it up.

And we know we dont get a chance to live in heaven

So we gonna blow this up

Like we always did before

We gonna throw shit away

So we get a score,

perpisahan

Ayam berkokok membuka matamu
Menggerakkan sendi tuk coba berdiri
Susah payah kau keringkan buku yang basah
Karena hujan tadi malam
Detik demi detik berlalu
Kau jalani hidup seperti biasa
Menyapu lantai tak berkeramik,
Membersihkan jendela tak berkaca

Tapi kau tak pernah putus asa
Jalan berkelok, berlubang dan becek
Kau tempuh demi mencapai tempat itu
Tempat kau menimba ilmu
Dimana kau temukan guru
Yang sabar dalam membimbingmu

Dan semua itu kini terbayar
Kau tunjukkan pada gurumu
Kau tunjukkan pada orang tuamu
Kau tunjukkan pada Dunia
Bahwa kau pun bisa
Tak kalah dari yang lainnya
Dengan [eralatan seadanya
Kau akhiri masa 6 tahun yang lama
Dengan tangis bahagia

stupid asshole

no i don't wanna cry
no i won't waste my time
by beg for your hand to stay
and let my tears out everytime i pray

you said,"i dont need u, asshole"
well i can say, "but i need u to clean my shit!"
you think you're the best
but your the beast
the beast of the beast

see, you make a baby face
when someone took your book
disgusting
u act like a baby
but u live like a leader.

farewell

the clock ticks so freak
as i took a break
as i took a step a way from you
just like somethin is missing
a piece of life is hiding
hide in the light
and drown in the sound of hurricane

now that i'm all alone
walkin, and put my head up to the dark sky
focus on the flash
no matter how the flash will make my eyes blind
i don't want to care
better to be blind than never see ur eyes
better to be paralyzed than never walk beside u again
better to be inviseible than watch u fade away

yws, u fade away
i can't reach your soul
i can't feel your call
and now you're there
inside the coffin
and gravestone above u
rest in peace my friend
see you later

havent been tittled yet

swingin vertically from the corner of an age that doesnt have a history
vehicles from the fifth century mixed with the violent rythm from the sound of the sun
creep to the limit of a vertical cliff
lets flip and fold our feet till we cant feel it
flick your stick and beat the clock's tick
make it freak and you cant come back to see ur cheeks.. hahahahaha

The Scary thing!!

Aku menapak lantai kotor ini satu persatu

Coba tetap fokus pada tujuanku

Tak kan ada yang berani menghalangiku

Kecuali benda satu itu

Entah apa itu yang kulihat di depan

Besar, tak bisa kutaklukan

Teguh seperti gunung

Seseram mentari di ufuk barat

Pancaran sinar menggoda yang dibiaskan air

Kilatan putih yang dimuntahkan langit

Sangat seram

Dan menggoda

memacu adrenalin

Sedikit lagi hampir sampai

Jantung tak mau berhenti berpacu dengan denting jam

Nyeri seluruh tubuhku terkena tusukan aliran darahku sendiri

Oh, apakah sebenarnya itu

Menghalangi jalan ku menuju Roma

Menghalangi jalanku menuju angkasa

Selangkah lagi dan aku akan menabraknya

Haruskah aku menghindar, atau aku terjang dengan berang?
tak ada waktu untuk berfikir

Ku terjang benda hitam itu

Dan akhirnya, dia terjerembab

Kurasakan darahku benar-benar terpaku ke dalam kulit

Menembus otot-otot yang tak seberapa kuatnya

Benda hitam itu...

Goblok! Itu kakak kelas !

Gendut dan hitam...

SERAAM!!

feel like hell

i came with two hands in my body

two eyes on my head

and two legs above me

so what's the different

i ain't different with all of you

but why?

you made me feel like in hell

out of place

out of my own mind

you make me feel like i don't have somewhere to belong

somewhere to live my life

somewhere to grow my children

what exactly you want me to be

what should i change from myself

but then i'm awake

i don't fit this life

i can't live here

i'll move on and i promise

that i'll never get my feet back here

just to watch you beg to me when u need somethin

and throw my soul away when u need nothing

wise words.... xD (>.<)

I don’t need to be the best every single day

I don’t need a crown to show my abilities

All I ever need is

Be a better person everysingle day

A friend who can hear my voices

That’s all I need

____________________________________________________________________

ketika kau gagal mengetuk pintu hati seseorang

cobalah mengetuk jendelanya

___________________________________________________

As smooth as a cloud

You touch my heart with your tears.

As fresh as a wind

U abuse me with your eyes

As tough as a mountain

You strengthen me with your voice

You are my everything

You are my inspiration

You are the color of this world

Happy women's day

____________________________________________________________________

(some songs inspired me, like, "forgotten", "points of authority", "Given up", "Run away", "leave out all the rest," "In between", "the little things give u away", "Hand held high","Papercut" frm LP, and "time for miracles", "What do u want fmo me" byAdam Lambert,

I’m the forgotten, I am the dark assassin

Its time for miracle,

To show the world that I am the point of authority

Show the world you can still hear my heart beat

But cant steal from the inside

What do u want from me

I wont given up

To run away from you

Untill you leave out all the rest

And stuck in between,

Then I can fight back with the rest of the little things give you away

A bomb that blew the mosque up

I’m a betrayer

Cuz the light has betray me at the first place

____________________________________________________________________

Too many time I’ve let down by everyone

Now I don’t wanna let anyone else down

Cuz I know how it feels to be let down

When u don’t hear what I say

I’ll hear what you wanna say

When u don’t laugh at my joke,

I’ll laugh at yours till I’m choked

When u canceled our appointment

I’ll come to the next meetin

Even when im busy

Even when I haven’t eat my lunch

So listen to me

I’ve already tired to plan a revenge

I’m tired being a devilish angel

But I’ll start to look like an angelish devil

____________________________________________________________________

When the world’s goin down

I still wait for you to come

Eyes of the unknown

I break the rule so many time

i don't obey the theories

i'll make my own theory

cuz i've messed up

i've kicked out

so many people who had let me down

so many time my heart slowing down

i want to break it

i won't follow the path

i don't have any faith

to crawl back while you are breathe

Mata Bulan Sabit

Mata Bulan sabit itu
terus menatapku
mungkin sedari dulu
sejak pertama bertemu

bulan sabit itu sangat bercahaya
menghentikan detak jantungku
membekukan darahku
merusakkan otakku

mata bulan sabit itu
mencekik urat-urat nadiku
memaksakan nafasku tetap di dalam
dalam paru-paru yang hampir terbakar

dan inilah waktunya,
waktu untuk parasit sepertiku mati
di tangan mu
mata bulan sabit


(i dont know who is this "mata bulan sabit". who, or whatever he is, i describe this man as a reaper, a shinigami, somethin covered by black, mysterioius, etc. and i'm a useless person, who give her life to God)

grumbling.....

well, actually, this isnt a poem, but i like the words, n maybe this post contain violent words. so, firstly i wanna say sorry.... xD

all schizophrenia girl gather around here,
hold their own ass and try to ignore the pain
ignore the eyes that staring at them
ignore all the blinding light
no one could ever beat their heart beat

hey u there
try to search ur own path
to go away from this damned place
insecure people
but u gonna need a lot of guns,
need a lot of centuries
to drop ur map and open it

when u find ur path
when u'r with ur dearest faith
u leave us and call the police
says," they gonna kill me, sir"

but the cop aint dumb
they aint too blind
at least they see u held a gun

but why they still catch us?